The Lies We Tell Ourselves

By - Early Jackson On May 18, 2015

The Lies We Tell Ourselves


We all lie right? If you want to make a room full of people uncomfortable, just ask that question. I’ve come to realize we live in a society woefully obsessed not with finding the truth, but exposing liars. That in itself has made it easier to deceive one another. Or as one writer put it; Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living and truth loving.

Everyone is out to expose someone else. But we spend the bulk of our time pointing fingers and avoiding the lies we tell ourselves. How crazy is that? We lie to ourselves about everything from wearing designer clothes instead of non-name brand, even when it is breaking our budgets. We lie about the person we date when we know they’re a jerk. Dr. Courtney S. Warren, adjunct professor at the University of Nevada says, We cannot be honest with others until we are first honest with ourselves. When we deceive ourselves, we often burden and damage our romantic relationships. Being honest requires deliberate effort on a daily basis and tolerating some painful realizations. Yet, by observing our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, we can learn about who we really are and give ourselves the opportunity to change.” This tells me that our relationships with others either rise or fail based on the level of self-honesty we operate in. So in essence, it is us, not the other person who may be at the root of many relational issues going on.

Here’s another question to ponder; Are you ready to tell yourself the truth? Before you jump to a resounding YES, weigh the query carefully. Being honest with yourself is not as easy as it sounds. It requires a firm grasp of reality and the guts to speak it. Sadly, many are far more comfortable living in a house of lies and never facing their mirrors. Here are a few of the biggest lies we have resolved to tell ourselves:

  • I’ve got plenty of time: You really don’t! Every day the limited resource of time is slipping through your fingers as you search for your next excuse. Each of us is given the same 86,400 seconds to do something. And if you want to measure where you are, just judge your current situation with the potential you were born with. Chances are, you are nowhere near where you’d like to be. So instead of lying to yourself that you can catch up tomorrow or you will do more when you have more free time or it will be less hectic next year, own your time transgressions and make the change now!
  • I’m really doing OK: The biggest enemy of “Greatness” is not failure, its “OK”. OK is the equivalent of “good enough”. And no one ever achieves anything worth mentioning when they approach it with the attitude of doing a good enough job. This one lie has the power to short circuit your efforts and leaves you in the land of comfort. We water down accountability and leave it with the mindset that compared to others, I am not that bad. This, in turn is impotent to help us build any type of momentum in life.
  • It’s not my fault: You’re probably thinking of all the things that have happened to you outside of your power of control. Those same things can create a rippled effect and move life around for you. But let’s look deeper. After whatever happened, how did you respond? You see, that is where the magic really happens. I am convinced that it is far less about what happens and more about how I choose to respond. It is in my response that life unfolds and I create a higher threshold for success.

The next time you’re gazing into a mirror take a moment to ponder the words of the 1975 classic hit from The Eagles, “Lying Eyes” when it says, “You can’t hide your lying eyes. And your smile is a thin disguise. I thought by now you’d realize, there isn’t no way to hide your lying eyes.” Remember, one of the greatest representations of courage in our present day is having the audacity to tell yourself the truth.

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