The Flaw with Flawlessness

By - Early Jackson On Feb 23, 2015

The Flaw with Flawlessness


Recently while having a casual conversation with my daughter about a cute picture she posted I attempted to compliment her when she interrupted me by saying, “Dad, I woke up like this. I’m flawless!” Of course she was joking around but her statement made me rethink a very commonplace cliché that I hear all the time.

The concept of being ‘flawless’ is nothing new. For as long as I can remember women have enjoyed being glamorous and men have loved seeing it. When I researched the origin of the word, I found out in Latin flawless is ‘Expletus’ and means to be without blemish. It further means to be complete or finished and perfect in nature. Right off the bat we see that this state is impossible to reach. How many flawless people have you seen? Exactly, it does not exist. The deeper issue is why society has the need to pretend to be something no other human will ever attain.

In her song titled Flawless, Beyoncé states she wakes in the morning flawless. What an amazing amount of pressure to put on her listeners. I mean after all, have you seen her? She’s gorgeous. Her hair, make-up and wardrobe is impeccable. And on the surface, it can seem like a mountain to live up to. But here’s the reality; it takes an army of glam soldiers to get her red carpet ready! No human wakes up looking like her at the Grammy’s. I’m sure the Queen Bae would love for us to think differently. But let’s just be real about it.

Here is the real deal with why there’s a big flaw in trying to live your life flawless:

  • Flawless is about ego: Any time you find yourself living a life dominated by your ego, you are sure to be miserable as well. When we chase flawlessness we end up viewing life through the prevue of our egos. And ego is the danger zone. Talk about being self-absorbed. We were never created to function by way of ego. Why? Because our ego is insensitive to others. Nothing is more selfish, self-centered and useless as an ego driven existence.
  • Flawless is an illusion: I hate to burst your bubble but Beyoncé is all smoke and mirrors. Don’t get me wrong, she is very attractive, but she’s no different than a beautiful woman walking through your local mall. Well maybe there is one thing. That army I mentioned that gets her hair perfect, make-up even and picks the perfect outfit for the day. I would even say that if the average woman had that team assembled, they’d be just as flawless as the Queen!
  • Flawless sets us up for disappointments: I am all for stretching ourselves with goals and desires that require us to rise to the occasion. But flawlessness is not one of those times. No amount of affirmations, positive surroundings or effort will ever result in us being flawless. You are bound to be let down time and time again. I believe maturity is when we release ourselves from the expectation of being perfect and rather seek a life of seeking completeness.

So by now it should be starting to sink in that the perfect state of flawlessness will never happen for you. And more than that, it shouldn’t even be something we seek. I think what makes this journey through humanity so interesting is how we are all on our own path of development. While we travel separately, we all have the same desire. We want to be better tomorrow than we were today. It is told that in ancient times when the Japanese mend a crack in a piece of pottery, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with pure gold. They believed that when something has suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful and valuable. So it was common to see all sorts of pots and containers with slivers of gold. Just like us, it was its flaws that gave it such character.

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