If you're like me, managing your desire for love with our most precious possession—time—can feel like being an amateur in an advanced juggling act. With my responsibilites as the Relationships Editor at ESSENCE magazine, growing my business as a dating coach and still finding time to nurture my own spirit and relationships, I've had to recalculate my schedule and priorities. Here are a few simple equations I've discovered to help increase your love percent in every day.
You have more time than you think! We blame being "busy" on not spending more time with the people and things we love, yet watch our favorite reality shows religiously each week. Add up how you spend your days and reclaim time wasted on watching other people live. Define how you will increase love in your life and add tasks to your calendar to keep you on track. Try booking a standing hour each week to call loved ones or scheduling to cook your honey's favorite meal every month. How couples spend their time together shapes the relationship—and quantity is not quality. One night completely focused on one another beats five nights of divided attention and interruptions.
After adding up where your time is spent, it's time to trim the excess for more substance. One client showed me the glaring mistake many singles make. She is a succesful jet-setter in the fashion industry yet was down about her dating life. I had her describe her day and her ideal guy. She spent most of her days at fashion events and traveling, yet yearned for an Aidan: Carrie's laid-back, carpenter boyfriend on Sex and the City. Her professional pursuits had taken over her life and were the reason why she wasn't meeting more of her type. Adjusting her schedule left more time to create online dating profiles and go to places completely out of her norm. Being strategic creates more room for love.
Get more love by multiplying activities and efforts. My mom came to town last year with limited time. So instead of five separate lunches, I invited friends, family and my future in-laws over for one dinner. It was an amazing time and a reminder of the power of multiplication. If you are looking to catch up with friends, invite them all to your favorite bar or restaurant. It gives people more of an incentive to see new and old faces and leaves more time (and money) for you. Instead of numerous emails to catch up with loved ones, send one fun newsletter with free sites like MadMimi.com and update them on your latest.
With all the tugs at your time life brings, remember spending time with the people who matter most is essential. Commit to increasing your love quotient.
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