We live in a world fascinated with consignment. Everyone loves to get a bargain on something they consider a luxury. Some however view this same situation as ‘used’ or second-hand. No matter how you slice it, just because something or someone has a history is no reason their next days can’t be their best days.
I often share candidly the fact that I was married before. I spent nearly 10 full years with the same woman while actively participating in raising three awesome children. To some, most of those years were spent in marital bliss, but quite often we were at each other’s throats. Add in the pressures apparent in our church organization and you have a dangerous cocktail. We realized mutually that the children were to be the main factor and we were thrust into a status as divorced. This was a transition in my life I had no point of reference to go by. But ready or not, this was my reality.
Many are concerned and even bewildered with how to navigate through the explosive field of divorce. The reality is, every situation is different and must be viewed as such. What you can find is a point of reference that helps guide you along the way. For example, here are a few things I learned that may empower you if this is the season you’re in:
Fast forward three years and I decided to take the plunge again. This is uncharted territory for my new wife, who is in her forties, no kids and never married. Many questioned did she really know what she was getting into? Could she handle the ‘baby momma’ drama?
These were all questions we discussed together, and along our journey we began to see a pattern for both our successes and failures. We learned that our discussions and even arguments were leaving clues of what to do, and not do. If we could simply identify these markers, we could live a life of peace, on purpose! Here are a few things we found helpful:
There are many obstacles ahead of anyone who has had the misfortune of divorce. No matter how mutual, divorce is a tremendous thing. It affects both families, and children if present. If not handled, and time allotted to properly process the event, it can leave deep scars. I am grateful I sought coaching and guidance from qualified individuals to help me navigate. Although I experienced a divorce, I never lost hope in the institution of marriage. I still believe there is life, after any loss.
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